and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
