Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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