I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize