babies were throwing up all over the place
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
