she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
