We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
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I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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