Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
