im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
