The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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