The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
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dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
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I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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