yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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