can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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