I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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