For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
