I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
