How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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