How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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