HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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