are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
