I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
