About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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