Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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