Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
