Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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