i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
