are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
