I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
