Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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