i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
