i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
