Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
