At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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