hotel room ftw
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Tornado booty call.. dedication
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
