for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
