were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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