doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
