wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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