All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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