you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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