awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
