Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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