Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
accomplished twins. life is a go
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
