She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
