somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm having to shit out rocks
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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