Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
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