one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize