Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
