That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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