Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize