Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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