Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
