My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
