dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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