apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize