Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
