Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I want to be your penis for a week.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
