Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
