i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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